Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Road to Adepticon 2012, Part 1: Getting the Band Back Together

If you are reading this blog, chances are pretty good that you’ve heard of Adepticon, and their team tournament.  As you might imagine, the Team Snake Eyes blog was created to document the process of preparing for that august event.  Over the course of the next few weeks I’ll be throwing up some posts documenting our efforts in that regard over the years, but most importantly, for the upcoming 2012 tournament.

Broken down to its simplest components, to play in the Team Tourney you need 4000 points of models, and 4 guys willing to play them.  Today I’m going to be talking about the “team” aspect of this event.

Depending upon who you know, or where you live, it can sometimes be a challenge to find 4 players willing to take this journey together.  Do they all have the financial means?  I would love to work out how much money I’ve spent on this tournament over the years (essentially my entire Salamanders army + other sundry bits), but if my wife ever saw those figures I’d likely get heavily ‘sanctioned’.  Do they have the actual time to work on pre-tournament preparations or to actually make the trip?  Many of my 40k friends are shift workers or full time students.  Sometimes they can’t arrange the vacation, or have other priorities that prevent them from participation.  My crew is also heavily involved in Paizo’s Pathfinder game or other role-playing platforms.  Married gamers know that there is often a limit to the number of events one can attend or afford.  Can anyone paint or lose without throwing a tantrum?  Say what you will about soft scores, but this team tournament has them.  Your army needs to look like it belongs together and you won’t get far if you score well in battle points but go all “West Side Story” on your opponents or team mates.
So, as you can imagine, there are a lot of things to consider in picking your team.  I have seen good friends not get chosen because they were too competitive.  I’ve been “fired” from teams before we even completed planning because of personality differences.  Better to sort it out early than not have an enjoyable time in Chicago. 

So, that brings me to the most boring part of this piece, introducing you to the Team Snake Eyes contingent for Adepticon 2012:

That prime rib BEGGED me to eat it.
Chosen1 (Team Captain, army owner, and spiritual leader) – To put it bluntly, I’m awesomely amazing at everything I do.  Any failures in my life can be safely attributed to those around me interfering with my aura of greatness.  I’ve been around the world 31 times, visited every semi autonomous nation state within the Mid-west, and received honorary awards such as “Most Magnificent Man of the Last Five Minutes”, “Creator of the Twinkie”, and who could forget the “Most Cherry Coke Zeroes Drank in a Night” award.  Yeah, it looks intimidating doesn’t it?  Shhh, shhh, shhhhh.  Hush now, don’t be scared.  It’s just better this way.  You’ll know it too; you just have to be one of the lucky few that make it past my entourage.

He's so far beyond you all spiritually, it defies reason.
Chaplain Aerion (Art Director) – Aerion is one of my oldest friends.  Not precisely on his merits, but his wife pays me a healthy stipend to say that publicly from time to time.  Known fondly as “the cabbage boy” by the roughnecks he grew up with, he has an amazing knack for feng shui, competition napping, and interpretive dance.  Additionally, I like to refer to him as the “dice whisperer” for his uncanny ability to accurately state the outcome of every throw of dice he’s ever made.  It’s brilliant, you should see it.  I’ve leaned heavily on Aerion’s talents over the years and that may be why we’ve never finished higher in the standings than we have.

Do NOT ask to pet the elephant.
Zephyr  (Rules Guy & Strongest Player) – Zephyr is both a charity case, and living proof that there is life after a career of brutal Burmese pit fighting.  Raised by feral cats and captured early by mercenaries, he was forced into blood sport at an early age.  Recently recovered on one of my many humanitarian missions, I set his vicious mind at ease by making him play with toy soldiers.  His keen warrior’s mind and my masterful tutelage granted him quick grasp of the game and he longs for the day he can take revenge on his former masters by returning to Burma and challenging the mercenary leader to a game of 40k Apocalypse.  Zephyr enjoys butterflies, coconut milk smoothies, funny hats and Pokémon when not yearning for the settlement of blood fueds.

That look means he's hungry
Da Goffer  – (Chapter Menial) Da Goffer’s mom pleaded that I take him out of her basement and give him something productive to do.  She’s such a sweet lady; I had no defense against her desperate pleas.  Turns out, he’s not that bad to have around.  He carries things quite well with his stunted frame, and with supervision manages not to break too many models.  He has a strange love of fungus, often yells incoherently for no good reason, and loves to smash stuff to pieces and then rebuild them into something less suitable than the original.  I have found him to have quite a temper, and I must encourage any of his opponents to just: “let the wookie win”.  It’ll be better for all of us if you do.

His hair is simply average.
Chambers (self proclaimed Dice Monkey & strategist, our “5th man”) – Chambers has spent his life in other’s shadows.  After failing to get into command school due to low test scores on warp drive theory and a certain indiscretion with a Klingon Commandant’s daughter, he was relegated to a Red Shirt for his perennial “so-so” performance reviews and total lack of meaningful achievements.  What is such a master of mediocrity doing on TSE?  Simply put, we needed someone to get us coffee and snacks.  Chambers fit the bill…sort of.  He’ll likely not survive his first mission anyway.  Lazy bum couldn’t even get me a picture when I asked him to.

EDIT: Chambers finally responded to the picture request.  It seems he has "obligations" that take up his valuable time.  Although I did get a pic, it was only of his remedial arithmetic homework.  Because you all still won't know his face, Aerion believes we can use him as an enforcer at Adepticon.  If any of you run afoul of TSE up in Chi-town...watch out, we know a guy.

Now you can all see for yourselves what sort of "priorities" our Redshirt has


chaplainaerion said...

Obviously Chambers is already calculating the necessary force required to pierce a skull with a stirrer straw. Judging by the numbers I can make out, the brand of non-dairy creamer is key.

Spaguatyrine said...

If either of your guys have an emergency and you want another player I would be interested. I am 93.4% sure I will be there as I am currently on the GT waiting list.

I am Spaguatyrine from the back40k.

Chambers said...

Love it,
Besides the brand of non-dairy creamer is absolutely key. You would not believe how many people assume all are created equal and completely ignore the surface area to specific gravity ratio. Then we get into Taylor verses U.S. stander screens and the real fun begins.

Any way Spag you keep your grubby, unwashed, roast beef smelling mitts off of my red shirt! Now if you will excuse me I am off to go chase that rainbow.

chaplainaerion said...

Wait... roast beef?

And remember, Chambers, it's CHASE, not TASTE.

Genoside07 said...

It's good to see Aerion is now able to count to three

chosen1 said...

Spaguatyrine, I can't believe how quickly Adepticon ran out of slots this year! I hope you get a chance to play, and I'd love to meet you. If you are there, I'll try and have one of the Back40k guys point you out, or you can just look for the bald, freakishly tall guy wearing a sweet green TSE shirt. I'll even buy the first round if you promise to tell me what "spaguatyrine" means. :-)

Farmpunk said...

oh that's easy.
it's the armies he plays.

Spa= Space Marines(Space Wolves)
Gua= Guard
Tyr= tyranids
ine= More Marine(GK's)

and you don't have to worry about the drink. I think Spag's is still dry.

chosen1 said...

Now THAT is clever. If he's dry then I can still get him a drink of his choice, or he can designate a booze surrogate.

chaplainaerion said...

-Raises hand and jumps up and down (well, okay, it's more of a bounce-in-place).

Spaguatyrine said...

I would like to come up and get games in with you guys sometime! I have to get some practice to defend my Nova Invitational spot. I started at 23 and was told 50 would eventually drop. Later!